Airline Travel in the Developing World - An essay in cynicism by Joel Adolph

Ok, after flying more than half way around the world on a number of different airlines and experiencing a mix of both economy and executive class tickets, i have a few observations to make about the state of air travel in the world today. My observations will be divided into two parts:

Part One: Cynicism about airline culture at home and abroad

Part Two: A subjective analysis of the quality of particular airlines that we have travelled on

And so we begin.

Part One:

OMG where to begin. I had ssumed that flying in the developing world on local airlines would be a rather terrifying experience. I had visions of rubberband-powered wooden planes with styrofoam wings zipping off the runway only to barrel-roll straight into the ground. Luckily, this turns out to not be the case at all. So far, my experiences with foreign airlnes have been INFINITELY more satisfying than flying on Canadian and American airlines. No joke: The airlines in Africa and Asia have got their gear sorted out. They know what's going on. I laugh at the concept of paying for food and drinks on airplanes now. Flying on Westjet is going to seem like torture now.

That being said, i'm not entirely convinced that people (passengers) in the developing world really "get it" when it comes to flying on planes. I mean... the airlines are great... but the passengers all seem a little.... tense. How should i explain this. I have never in my life seen two grown men shouting at each other about who gets to put their carry-on baggage in which overhead compartment. I have never before seen people pushing and shoving to get on the airplane, or leaning into each other to rush people into their seats once they get on board. These are the same people who take FOREVER to do anything else in life, but as soon as we're within 100m of an airplane everyone is in a BIG DAMN HURRY. It's pretty insane. And boarding procedures are inane in the extreme. It's not done by rows, or seat number, or class. Women with small children don't get to go first. Neither do people requiring assistance. As soon as the gate is open for boarding, 75 people lurch out of their seats and stampede to the boarding gate where they proceed to wedge and squirm and push (forget single file, that concept only exists in the west I am now convinced) their way to the front. By the time we got to India I was so tired of it that I began insisting that we go through security an hour early so that i could park myself (literally) 5 feet away from the gate and stand their staring straight ahead until it opened for boarding so that I could be the first on.

At first I was so appalled by my perception of the "rudeness" of the other pasengers that I refused to lower myself to their level by fighting for a spot in line, and so I contented myself with getting budged infront of and cut off and nudged out of line until I was the last one to boad the plane. Oh well i thought, at least i'm not a barbarian. That mentality died hard. By the end of India i had changed my tune to "by God if people are going to push and shove, i'll be damned if i'm going to be left behind." Now i'm in there like a dirty shirt fighting for the best spot in line. People tend to "lean" on you (literally putting their weight on you) in lines in the third world (their concept of personal space is a little different than ours) but i've found that you can discoutrage this behaviour either by leaning back so forcefully that it looks ike you're grappling in the wrestling ring, or by quickly stepping out the way so that they lose their balance and almost fall over. After a few minutes of unpredictable movements people start to give you a little more room.

Part Two:

For part two i will rate each of the airlines we travelled on acording to four different measures, each of which will be rated out of 5 stars. A brief description of each will follow.

Comfort
Food Quality
Availability of Beverages etc.
Cost of Things


1. Delta/American/Air Canada/Westjet/blah blah blah - western airlines

Comfort - **
Food Quality - ***
Availability of Beverages - ***
Cost of Things - *

North American airlines are all the same. They suck. Business class is probably a lot better, but i only have experience with economy class so that it what i will talk about. The seats are uncomfortable and cramped, there are no real amenities provided (you'll get a pillow and blanket if you're lucky), and the stewards/esses seem annoyed if you ask for anything aside form when they are doing their "round". The food is ok, but not great. There's a wide variety of snacks and beverages typically available, but they all cost stupid amounts of money. Boo!

2. Royal Air Morrac - Economy Class

Comfort - ****
Food Quality - **
Availability of Beverages - ****
Cost of Things - ****

Royal Air Morrac was great. Even in economy class we were provided with pillows, blankets, slippers, and little cloth sleeping masks to block the light from our eyes. The seats were still cramped and not very big, but the care and attention of the air-hostesses made up for it. Hot towels were provided for refreshment before take-off even in economy class. The food sucked... bland and uninteresting with small portions, but there were a wide variety of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages available. And they were free!!!! Heck ya!

3. Kenyan Airways - Economy Class

Comfort - ***
Food Quality - *
Availability of Beverages - ***
Cost of Things - ****

Kenyan Airways was smilair to Roal Air Morrac. No slippers or masks, but plenty of pillows, accomodating hosts, and decent seats. The food was retched, but like Royal Air Morrac, there was no shortage of drinks. They were all free and available at just about any time during the flight.

4. Emirates Air - Economy Class

Comfort - ****
Food Quality - ****
Availability of Beverages - ****
Cost of Things - *****

Wow. Emeriates Air (even with the lowest class ticket) was by far the best airline experience I have ever had. The seats were comfortable. lots of pillows and blankets and slippers. Each seat had its own TV that came quipped with multiple free movies, multiple TV channels, and interactive games (more than a hundred) which could be played against the computer or even agianst other passengers!!! I could play chess with someone else in a different seat on the same plane. Lots of beverages were available, at any time. I asked for some water, and was brought a litre of bottled mineral water instead of a tiny plastic cup like I would get on a canadian airline. The food was astounding; we were given a menu and got to choose from a number of different dishes. we were served wine with our meal. and all rinks were free. the only thing that wasn't free was champagne. I can only imagine what first class must have been like!!

5. Air India - Executive Class.

Comfort - ****
Food Quality - **
Availability of Beverages - *
Cost of things - ***

Booo! Even first-class on Air India was kind of lame. The seats were great; lots of room and very comfortable, and pillows and blankets and hot towels and all that. comfort was great, but the rest was no good. The food was bad, and there was no choice of beverages. fresh squeezed lime juice and water. that was it. no booze, no pop, NOTHING. It was all free, of course, but what's the point in free if there's no selection?? Their idea of snacks was a few campinos and werthers originals that they passed around in a tray. Whatever. At leats gimme some pretzels, jeezuz.

6. Jet Airways - First Class

Comfort - *****
Food Quality - *****
Availability of Beverages - **
Cost of tHings - *****

Wow. This was my first true first-class experience. nice roomy seats, lots of pillows and blankets, and air-hostesses leaning over every few minutes to see if there was anything else they could do for us. Great service. The food was amazing and there was lots of selection. i ate so much i almost got sick. Sigh, still there was not very good drink selection. watermelon juice and sweet lime juice (must be an indian airline thing) Everything was free though, and there was lots to go around(empty flight) so all in all it was a great experience.


In conclusion, I would say that the two best airlines we travelled on were Emirates Air Economy Class, and Jet Airways First Class. Given a choice between the two, i think it would depend on the flight time and my mood. First class with Jet Airways was naturally more comfortable, but Emirates Air has bigger planes in its fleet so there are a lot more entertainment and drink choices. I would say that if i was tired and hungry and just wanted to eat a good meal and then sleep, jet airways would be better. If, however, i wanted to nibble on some snacks, have a bunch of free drinks, and play games and watch movies all flight - Emirates would be the way to go.

The next best were Royal Air Morrac and Kenyan Air. Both were very accomodaing and comfortable... but the food was no good on either. Drinks were free on both, however, and that's always a big selling point.

Air India (even in first class) was not as enjoyable. No entertainment, no drinks, boring food. Very comfortable though... as long as you were panning on sleeping the whole flight and didn't expect to have fun, i think it would be very nice. It was a daytime fliught though and i was looking for a little stimulation no dice. Along with our first-class India Air tickets came an invitation to the lounge at the Khatmandu ariport. We wandered into the Thai Airways lounge, and the smug host informed us that the Air India lounge was a coffee shop across the way. At the coffee shop we were offered a tiny plastic cup of coffee or pop and some tasteless snacks for our first class coupon. I was actually insulted and reacted rather sharply to the poor clerk at the coffee shop (for which i felt quite badly afterwards)


No matter what the deficiencies of foreign airlines might be... they are infinitely superior to our airlines in north america. The only positive side to flying on north american airlines are that the airline staff seem to have more experience, the passengers are less insane, and the airports themselves are better organized and less chaotic. Once you get on the plane however... you'll wish you were flying on an african or asian airline. they know service!

Ok, that's the end of my rambling. I'm sitting at the bar in a five star hotel in Chennai, and i've just struck up a conversation with an american businessman from Shanghai so i gotta run. hopefully i'l have another chance to post before we leave the comfort of our hotel.

cheers.